Ga bisa bobok =(

Huaaaaaaa.......menderita semalamam kemaren =( ga bisa bobok gara-gara batuk mlulu. Bersyukur pada Babe, karena rumet-rumet saya jenis yang kalo udah bobok, tidak gampang terbangun oleh gangguan suara. Kalo tidak, bisa sungkan saya aiz....

Jadi alkisah baru bobok bentar, batuknya dah lebih banyak....sampe akhirnya bangun dan merebus air panas aiz....lalu minum obat de. Singkat kata....akhirnya bisa bobok nyenyak sebentar. Huaa batuknya sungguh menyiksa...mana suara masih sexoy lagi.

Tadi abis ditelpon ama Target buat phone interview. Gara-gara pas ditanya ttg citizenship and sponsorship, saya menjawab jujur, maka dihentikanlah interview....lagi-lagi..demikian. Jadinya bener-bener tidak ada semangat interview lagi de.

Sekian intermezzo singkat, harus kembali belajar GMAT. Badly need God's healing touch supaya malam tidak menderita.

Awesome Retreat

Finally...home sweet home...I miss my bed so much ^^ eniwei, Jo's wedding was fun and we got back home around 1 am. So what I got for retreat??? Here is the story about my personal experience.

On Thursday, I went to retreat and was still sick. I had dry throat and cough, so I only ate “bubur” in China Town, Chicago. I did not dare to eat fry stuffs because I would be ministering in the evening session. Went for practice, did not really have voice. I was afraid but I decided to believe that when I minister, God will give the strength. Indeed, the PW session was awesome. I felt God's presence there...people were joyful...and guess what...I could sing!!! yey...I sang as if I did have my normal voice. Right after I have done leading three fast songs and handed it to Davis, I lost my voice completely. I could not hear my own voice, but I said to myself, "It is okay to lose my voice for my God. The fact that I did not have my voice did not matter, I chose to still praise and worship my dear Lord." I really felt God's touch when I worshipped Him. It was an awesome session. God really moved to touch His children and poured out His spirit. After Pastor Rony Daud Simeon ended his short preaching, we were worshipping God again and this time, He talked to me. I felt like the heaven lend me the voice to lead and sing.

For quite sometimes, I have not heard God's voice. But right at that night, He touched the deepest part of me and said gently, "Semua ini terjadi dihidupmu, bukan karena Aku ga sayang ke kamu. Tapi karena Aku begitu sayang, maka Aku harus membiarkan semua ini terjadi. Proses harus dijalani, untuk sesuatu yang besar...." Man...I could not talk or answer Him. I could only cry and cry....gave thanks to God because He loves me so....and indeed all these whole process that often frustrated me, was because He really love me. I felt like God renewing again my strength and my joy. There is a hope in God! I will wait upon the Lord!

After that Pastor Chris approached me when I was still worshipping God. When He was about to pray for me….I just could not stand anymore….I felt like God poured out His spirit to me and it was so strong, that I could not stand up. Pastor said, “If there is only one word that can be said for me, it would be WELL DONE! God will fight the battle for me!” Amen….yes! I believe….God is with me and also with you.

Those are my personal experiences during retreat….when we really pray and seek God, we will surely meet Him.

Jeremiah 29: 12-14a
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD…”

Thanksgiving Dinner Session with Pastor Rony Daud Simeon

Matthew 4:17
"From that time on Jesus began to preach, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.”
The Kingdom of Heaven is NOW; it is not the past, nor the future.
1. Repent = change the way of thinking from worldly to godly.
Holy life brings success! Do not compromise with SIN!
2. Change the way of thinking from religious practices to heavenly thinking.
What matters most is our relationship with God. In relationship, there are intimacy and closeness.

John 4, God taught:
1. God desires a worship that comes from a heart that loves Him.
2. God seeks the worshiper (the person) not the worship itself.
3. Worship does not change God, but it will change us. Whether or not we worship Him, He will still be the God.

Retreat Session 1 (Rony Daud)
Matthew 7: 21-23
“Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!”
Why God rejected them? Because they did not know God intimately. There is no closeness. Be careful and watchful! Sometimes, we minister and do the work of God, but we do not maintain our relationship with God.

Retreat Session 2 (Cyrus Gomez)
Judges 6:12-13
“When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior." "But sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian.”

1. If God speaks to us, it will be from our future
2. We must live in the future
3. God changes the way we think
4. We live by the inside
In God’s encounter, we are back in the original plan of creation. We become like God.

Retreat Session 3 (Cyrus Gomez)
What makes us different with the world is the authority. When we become son of God, we can have the authority by being OBEDIENCE to what God says. To obey is a choice/decision. Your emotion follows your decision. Obedience breaks your will and gives space for God’s will, and the nature of God will be inside of you.

Retreat Session 5 (Rony Daud)
How to have a healthy emotion?
1. Learn to be honest and be yourself
2. Forgive
3. Watch the sin committed by the generation before us
4. Always rejoice
When we laugh at least 10 minutes/day, the brain will release a positive and “stay young” hormones.

Retreat Session 6 (Cyrus Gomez)
How to keep what we have gotten?
1. Set your mind on ADVANCEMENT, not maintenance
2. Set your mind on REVIVAL, not survival
3. Set your mind on SUPRANATURAL, not natural

Teot Teblung

Senin kemaren teler banget.....sakit jadinya =( badan lemes, kepala pusing, n tenggorokan super ga enak...kering banget kerasanya...jadi sedih de....berharap diani cepat pulang biar bisa minta dibikinin bubur...akhirnya ga pake sungkan, sms de ke diani hauheuaheue....

Akhirnya mamam bubur ama sisa babi kecap kemaren, karena diani's telur asin is Missing In Action, hua hari ini baru ketemu, ternyata ada dilemari ckckkc....emang kalo gi sakit, kurang bisa mencari-cari de. Bangun aja susah, sakit pala soalnya....maunya nempel terus dibantal.

Malemnya mamam bubur lagi...benernya pengen soup n udon. Jadi ngidem nabeyaki udonnya Hessei. Kayaknya kalo gi sakit, pengen yang anget-anget. Tapi kalo napsu makan udah ada, berarti dah better hehehhe setelah rumet A-link pulang, panggil-panggil deh lewat msn, n akhirnya dibikinin suppppppppppppp yeyyyyyyyy cuman bahannya dari 4 macam, cuman kek punya dua. Tapi Puji Tuhan...dilemari ternyata ada bahan laennyaaaaaa yeyyyyyy hepi deh. Makasi lin n dinnnnnnn...........jadi seneng....meskipun pertamanya sedih, pengen pulang indo ama mama papa. Hiks...kalo gi sakit, bisa tinggal bilang pengen apa. Eniwei...tengkiu sistas, hepi de. Dulu pas tinggal sendirian, *berduka* karena pusing pala, pun harus berpegangan sambil memanasin chicken noodle kalengan.....

Kemaren sore n tadi siang bersama Lin n Din, buat Bakmi Ayammmmmm.....yeyyy.....akhirnya bisa n berhasil. Enak juga...seneng deh....sakit gini bisa mamam bakmi ayam. Sennnnnannng sekali, kalo ngidem bisa buat sendiri, ga perlu nunggu ampe pulang Indo. Recipe 32D menjadi lebih banyak lage...gimana Lin, mau buka warung 32D? Laris lho....

Today I feel better...praise God, coz tomorrow is retreat. Jadi ga mau sakit yang pasti...terus bakal ministry duh beneran de....minta God's healing miracle. Putting all things in God's hands, kalo mau ngelakuin pekerjaan Tuhan, pasti dibantu ma Babe...amen-amen-amen. Expect BIG! I want God to reveal His plans and will in my life. Badly needed God's direction and guidance. Ntar sore ada Potluck terus session bareng Pastor Rony Daud Simeon.

Sedih sekali....

Sedih sekaleeeeeeee................oh no...sangat tidak menyenangkan dalam keadaan seperti ini. Jadi hancur hati...I know I have to be strong, but it is not easy...feel like I wanna give up and go back to Indo. Sometimes I feel so wrong by choosing this path of life. Masa penantian yang tak tahu kapan berujung....hidup yang tidak tahu kemana...kuatir-gelisah-bingung-sedih...ga pengen banget de lama-lama disini...

Ironi banget kadang....7 jam yang lalu, baru chit-chat ama one of my sistas here. I encouraged her and so on....and now...here I am...feel so hopeless....I don't even dare to make any plan for my life. After all that happened, I feel that it is really true, "manusia bole berencana, tapi Tuhan yang menentukan."

This evening, I just declared a victorious life, but now... feel like in the other side of it. Memang hidup harus selalu berjaga-jaga...feel better now. People say that everything is gonna be fine, is it real? There is always a hope in God ^^ I believe Tuhan ga akan memadamkan sumbu yang hampir pudar dan semangat yang goyah....He will strengthen me.....even when it is hard to believe....I want to claim that indeed He is working in my life now. Hard-hard-hard, but I will cling onto His promises. He will make everything beautiful in His time, amen!

Eniwei, today Praise and Worship night was awesome. Good job team!! Excellent! No complaint even we had 14 songs in a row. Love the unity! Can't wait to see more of what God can do in the retreat. Expect big.....He will do something for me....

Thanks for those who have tried to comfort me...feel better now bros and sis. I was really sad just now...so could not hold my emotion. *claiming that the joy of the Lord is my strength and the joy is in my heart now, amen*

Thanks bro, for telling me that the holy spirit will comfort me....indeed it happened. God just reminded me of this song:
- Semua kar'na anugerahNya...diberikan kepada kita...semua anugerahNya bagi kita... -
Yes...yess....it is so true...mau belajar bersyukur dalam segala keadaan, susah maupun senang. Meskipun sulit.....aku ada disini kar'na Anugerah Tuhan semata...bisa sekolah disini...lulus dengan nilai baik....punya bros and sis yang awesome n baek-baek, supportive abis. Bisa pelayanan, bisa bertumbuh, bisa makan, bisa minum, tanpa takut kekurangan. Bisa ketawa, bisa nangis, bisa cemas, bisa semangat....semua Tuhan yang kasih. Kalo nantinya pun bisa dapet GMAT yang bagus dan masuk univ yang bagus buat MBA,bener bener karena anugerah Tuhan semata, it is not me at all....

Ga mau ditipu si "kampret", ga mau diintimidasi....."aku diciptain Tuhan buat lebih dari pemenang!" Claiming God's favor is upon me...and of course, upon you too.

Good Verses...

Just read my friend's blog, Vivi, and got these verses:

Psalm 111 (NIV)

1 Praise the LORD.
I will extol the LORD with all my heart
in the council of the upright and in the assembly.

2 Great are the works of the LORD;
they are pondered by all who delight in them.

3 Glorious and majestic are his deeds,
and his righteousness endures forever.

4 He has caused his wonders to be remembered;
the LORD is gracious and compassionate.

5 He provides food for those who fear him;
he remembers his covenant forever.

6 He has shown his people the power of his works,
giving them the lands of other nations.

7 The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy.

8 They are steadfast for ever and ever,
done in faithfulness and uprightness.

9 He provided redemption for his people;
he ordained his covenant forever—
holy and awesome is his name.

10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow his precepts have good understanding.
To him belongs eternal praise.

Yup..yup..No matter what is going on in our life, it would never change the fact that GOD will always be faithful. He may not give what you need and desire now, but He is never too late. One thing for sure is He KNOWS. I believe He is not a cruel God, He is listening to us....watching over us.

God will fight for us...

Exodus 14:

13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Isn't that great to be the children of God? When troubles come, God said, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and I will deliver you. I will fight for you."

- lagi mikir - 

- candid - 

My Temporary Rumets 

Luthu sekali ^o^ 

My cute niece, Rachel 

Problems...Problems...

What I got from my daily devotional:

(Quoted from the bible’s explanation)

James 1:2-4

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Most of the time, we expect faster results and fewer problems. When God is working, suffering, delay, and difficulties may still take place. The verses teach us to be joyful when we experience hardships.

Problems develop our patience and character by teaching us to:

1. Trust God to do what is best for us
2. Look for ways to honor God in our present situation
3. Remember that God will not abandon us
4. Watch for God’s plan for us

Small problems need only small answers. But when we face great problems, God has an opportunity to exercise his great power.

.: Small faith produces small miracle, but big faith produces big miracle :.

...but He is ABLE

Exodus 4:10-13

10 Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD?

12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

13 But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."

“Moses pleaded with God to let him out of his mission. After all, he was not a good speaker and would probably embarrass both himself and God. But God looked at Moses’ problem quite differently. All Moses needed was some help, and who BETTER than GOD could help him say and do the right things. God made his mouth and would give him the words to say. It is easy for us to focus on our weaknesses, but if God asks us to do something, then He will help us get the job done. If the job involves some of our weak areas, then we can TRUST that He will PROVIDE words, strength, courage, and ability where needed.”

- We can’t, but God is ABLE. With HIM, everything is POSSIBLE. -

Claim..Claim...Claim

Verses to claim everyday (thanks bro ^o^)

Proverbs 3:5-6

New King James Version:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

The Message:
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.”


Isaiah 14:24, 27

New International Version:
“The LORD Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand. For the LORD Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him? His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back?”

The Message:
“Exactly as I planned, it will happen. Following my blueprints, it will take shape. God-of-the-Angel-Armies has planned it. Who could ever cancel such plans? His is the hand that's reached out. Who could brush it aside?”


Jeremiah 29:11

New King James Version:
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Disaat kita tak mengerti....

Lagu yang liriknya bagus banget:

PELANGI KASIH

APA YANG KAU ALAMI KINI
MUNGKIN TAK DAPAT ENGKAU MENGERTI
SATU HAL TANAMKAN DI HATI
INDAH SEMUA YANG TUHAN B'RI

TUHAN-MU TAK AKAN MEMBERI
ULAR BERACUN PADA YANG MINTA ROTI
COBAAN YANG ENGKAU ALAMI
TAK 'KAN MELEBIHI KEKUATANMU

TANGAN TUHAN SEDANG MERENDA
SUATU KARYA YANG AGUNG MULIA
SAATNYA 'KAN TIBA NANTI
KAU LIHAT PELANGI KASIH-NYA

Mungkin saat ini kita ga ngerti kenapa begini kenapa begitu, ga bisa ngeliat ini mau dibawa kemananya, didepan entar ada apa ya. Semua ga jelas, kabur, cuman bisa berharap, cuman bisa berpegang. Satu hal yang terus Tuhan taruh dihati aku:

Romans 8:26-28 (The Message)

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Tengkiu all sistas ^o^

Tengkiu banget buat all my sisters who sent me e-card, email, and gave comments. I really got encouraged by you all....

After I posted the previous entry, couple people talked to me. Someone actually is experiencing the same case as me. Others have experienced that before....

Truly...until now, I still don't know what I need to do or am going to do. It is still blur....can't see anything right now. I sent around ten resumes to different companies across the state, but only heard from two companies so far....oh man...it seems like sales jobs are anywhere...is that the path that I have to take.......

Now, I'm thinking to just study for GMAT, take the exam, complete MBA application, and go back home to work for couple months. But...I may get lazy to come back after get adapted in the home country aiz....or I can take the exam and then move to my dream cities, find a job there, and then back to school on Fall 2007. *BINGUNG* duhhhhh coba kita punya mesin buat melihat 3 bulan ke depan ya........

Couple things I learned from my friends' sharing:
"Fear is believing the worst is going to happen, but Faith is believing the best is going to happen."

"Doubt itu seperti ganjelan pintu. kalo kamu liat ganjelan pintu yang bentuk-nya wedge/segitiga itu, kalo itu ditaroh dibawah pintu pintu-nya ngga akan terbuka 100%. begitu hal-nya dengan doubt...kalau ada even slight doubt, itu seperti kita tidak membiarkan Tuhan punya 100% kuasa atas hidup kita. akibat-nya, berkat Allah juga tidak akan tercurah 100%."

"Don't lose hope. Keep trying, keep hoping, and keep believing. In the process, love God. Wait on God and claim all of His promises to happen in your life. You are His and He is yours (Song of Songs 6:3). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Joshua 1:5b). He is your shepherd and you shall not be in want (Psalms 23:1)."

"No matter where we are going to be, no matter what we will do (ya of course bukan yg negatif la yahh), tangan Tuhan pasti tetep ada di sana buat nolong. Kadang bingung sendiri is this the right thing to do? tapi claim tiap pagi God's favor is upon me, His favor is opening doors of opportunities for me, His favor is causing ppl to want to help me."

"Be patient and persevere yah. God's help is rarely early, but never too late. Sometimes memang ngga dikasih jawaban instant ama Tuhan, supaya you can exercise your faith dan learn to make good choices in your life."

"As you grow more in your Christian life, more freedom of choices will be given to you. Tp jangan takut membuat keputusan yg salah! Remember Heb 13:5, God will never leave you nor forsake you. Even if you make mistake in your choice, in Rom 8:28, everything works for the good of those who love Him."

"Keep strong and persevere!! Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God -Phil 4:6."

Tengkiu banget buat Helen, Tin-Tin, and Cindy....each sharing has blessed and encouraged me. I am hanging on God's promise on my life....akan terus mencoba bertahan...sampai Tuhan melakukan sesuatu...

PUSH = Pray Until Something Happens

God never promised that life would be easy, but He promises His presence with us and at the end, we will be the winner, AMEN!