Sedih sekali....

Sedih sekaleeeeeeee................oh no...sangat tidak menyenangkan dalam keadaan seperti ini. Jadi hancur hati...I know I have to be strong, but it is not easy...feel like I wanna give up and go back to Indo. Sometimes I feel so wrong by choosing this path of life. Masa penantian yang tak tahu kapan berujung....hidup yang tidak tahu kemana...kuatir-gelisah-bingung-sedih...ga pengen banget de lama-lama disini...

Ironi banget kadang....7 jam yang lalu, baru chit-chat ama one of my sistas here. I encouraged her and so on....and now...here I am...feel so hopeless....I don't even dare to make any plan for my life. After all that happened, I feel that it is really true, "manusia bole berencana, tapi Tuhan yang menentukan."

This evening, I just declared a victorious life, but now... feel like in the other side of it. Memang hidup harus selalu berjaga-jaga...feel better now. People say that everything is gonna be fine, is it real? There is always a hope in God ^^ I believe Tuhan ga akan memadamkan sumbu yang hampir pudar dan semangat yang goyah....He will strengthen me.....even when it is hard to believe....I want to claim that indeed He is working in my life now. Hard-hard-hard, but I will cling onto His promises. He will make everything beautiful in His time, amen!

Eniwei, today Praise and Worship night was awesome. Good job team!! Excellent! No complaint even we had 14 songs in a row. Love the unity! Can't wait to see more of what God can do in the retreat. Expect big.....He will do something for me....

Thanks for those who have tried to comfort me...feel better now bros and sis. I was really sad just now...so could not hold my emotion. *claiming that the joy of the Lord is my strength and the joy is in my heart now, amen*

Thanks bro, for telling me that the holy spirit will comfort me....indeed it happened. God just reminded me of this song:
- Semua kar'na anugerahNya...diberikan kepada kita...semua anugerahNya bagi kita... -
Yes...yess....it is so true...mau belajar bersyukur dalam segala keadaan, susah maupun senang. Meskipun sulit.....aku ada disini kar'na Anugerah Tuhan semata...bisa sekolah disini...lulus dengan nilai baik....punya bros and sis yang awesome n baek-baek, supportive abis. Bisa pelayanan, bisa bertumbuh, bisa makan, bisa minum, tanpa takut kekurangan. Bisa ketawa, bisa nangis, bisa cemas, bisa semangat....semua Tuhan yang kasih. Kalo nantinya pun bisa dapet GMAT yang bagus dan masuk univ yang bagus buat MBA,bener bener karena anugerah Tuhan semata, it is not me at all....

Ga mau ditipu si "kampret", ga mau diintimidasi....."aku diciptain Tuhan buat lebih dari pemenang!" Claiming God's favor is upon me...and of course, upon you too.