You will never walk alone....

Dear diary,

This week is a very stressful week for me. I-core susah banget.......tiap hari stress mikirin n ngerjain. Nyari angka ga nemu.....ga ada yang bisa bantuin. Untung Ayako bisa diajak kerja sama n kita punya goal yang sama. Pengen nangis seringnya........feel hopeless......so dark (hun" suka bilang: tau ah gelap). Asking God, why this must happen??? So stress out.......pain in the head and heart.......sleepless, eatless.......Kapan bakal berakhir??

But, our God is a faithful God. He never changes....He will always be there all the time. Sometimes we see our project or problem as something very big, 'till we can't see God. Tuhan, aku tau Engkau ga akan pernah tinggalin aku. Engkau tetap Allah yang sama dulu dan sekarang......kalo semester-semester kemarin, Kau buat aku melihat perbuatan-perbuatanMu yang ajaib dalam nilai-nilaiku, Engkau bisa membuat hal yang sama......atau bahkan lebih...... Tuhan jangan biarin aku berjalan dalam keraguan.....Help me to believe in faith that I can overcome everything with You and still come up as a winner..... Lord, I want to surrender this project......what is my final grade is not my business, it's Yours. I can only give and do my best, as much as I can put.......but it is You who decide on my final grade.

Segala sesuatu yang terjadi, terjadi atas seijin Tuhan.....sekalipun yang terburuk yang terjadi........buat aku belajar sesuatu Tuhan. Ajar aku melihat setiap hal dengan mataMu memandang...........Tuhan, kasih aku kekuatan untuk melangkah......melihat kedepan.....

Tuhan, aku akui aku gagal........gagal memelihara sukacita ini......gagal menjaga hati dari keraguan.......tapi, aku mau melangkah...........

Hari ini, Tuhan kasih kekuatan........tadi pagi bisa bilang, "He is always there, so be still....." makasi Tuhan........Tuhan dah pake hun" n Yuli buat nguatin aku juga. Di...tengkiu banget ya......hari ini Diani bilang mau buat doain aku, though i can't hear it.....one day, I believe I will hear you pray for me, hun. I was touched hun...looking how God is really working in your life has strengthen me. Di, i hope you will always remember my words about "the holding hands" Satu hal yang pasti hun, God loves you very much.....

Dah mau pulang Indo ni........Tuhan, makasih buat summer plannya ya... semua karena Tuhan yang bekerja......Tuhan, aku ga bisa lihat apa yang didepan, tapi aku bisa percaya, kalo Engkau 'kan selalu besertaku. Aku serahin summer kedalam tanganMu, Bapa. Engkau tau yang terbaik untukku.

Tak ku tau kan hari esok, tapi ku tau Allah kan s'lalu beserta.....

Don't be afraid, don't be anxious, because you will never walk alone.....

Git: tengkiu ya.....yuk sama" lari............

Your part + God's part = Perfect

Thursday,

Woke up in the morning and this time, I called my parents coz tomorrow I will have a review session. Made some jelly for accompanying me tonite. I need to eat while I'm studying.....help my brain working hueheuhue...

Went for lunch with Ayako in King Wok. Pon: finally I ate "Contam", no 138 itu hehehe yum yum.....then we stopped at Meijer, I need to refill my water and buy some groceries. It was a quick shopping since I need to start studying.

In the evening, prayed to God. Asked Him to interfere with my study. Lord, I have so many things to do.....and I know I can do all of them with You. Gotta study hard! Let's working together, Father. Jiayooooooo mei...thanks to hun-hun for the support. Pray for me ya......... Ketipu ni, apa kurang sensi ya?? Sorry banget ya... skrg dah ngerti kok kode rahasianya. Maap banget ya....duch, kirain weleh-weleh.
Bener-bener ga nyangka si..... =(

My marketing grade came out this evening, wow so fast.....it took longer before. God is amazing........can't say enough thank for the grade. Lord, I know You will always be a faithful God.....forever........when I did my best part, You worked mightily.......there is always a hope when we walk with God. No matter how hard your school is..........God is able, bros and sis. Walking in the impossibility with God. I got a better grade than what I've expected, I was stand amazed when I checked my grade. I was afraid before....closed my eyes before see the grade. It appeared not in order, but after reading the explanation.... hmmm Praise the Lord. Thanks mom, dad, bros.........prayer does work!

Hun: Hepi for you, just keep smiling, just keep smiling (copy gaya si ponchay, "dory" in the NeMoooo).........keep on praying.....God is an awesome God. I pray that God will reveal more of His mighty power and let you experience Him as a living God, Amen!

Study....Study.....and Study...................Do my best, and let God do His part! Wanna see more of God mighty and wonderful works in my grades, like before. God is a faithful God before, now and forever.................

"Dan...sekalipun ku berjalan dalam lembah kekelaman
Tak akan gentar ku melangkah.........
S'bab Engkau besertaku, Tuhan"

Last Marketing Exam....

Morning Wednesday,

I woke up at 8:30am to continue studying. Thanks God it was effective. The test went good. I did my best and let God does His part. Feel more confident than last exam, thanks God for the wisdom.

On P301 class, we were watching 2 short videos on Mc Donald and Walmart. I was dizzy and 'mual' dunno what to call in English because of the fast motion of the clip. Something wrong with my body..........I'm a person who can't really tolerate fast and quick motion hmm how to say..... still remember how my mon and I were having bad motion sick after we took off from the "empty space" game in Florida. I will never try that anymore......don't really like those indoor games, specially the ones that can cause motion sick.

Thinking to go back but have a prayer meeting at 8pm at school. Thanks God that I got better after the short group discussion. When you have a responsibility, it is not that easy for you to leave it....must be responsible. Thanks to Ayako who accompanied me to grab a tuna sandwich to give me more strength. Special thanks to Sunie...........the dinner was yummy. It was a fun time for sharing after a while.

We had our prayer meeting at Library......it was good. Thanks for bros and sis who joined. We finished at 10pm....it was raining outside. I don't like raining. It is wet and hmmm feel dirty. Now, I have running nose.........Lord, I need Your complete healing.......I have to be healthy before going back. Make it fast and perfect, Lord! Lots of duties ahead................God's grace, God's strength, God's healing power.......rain down please.........AMEN!

Thanks to someone for reminding me about my blog. Gotta share God's works through my dear diary....keep being blessing through this journal.

Good morning, Monday....

Morning Monday,

I woke up earlier coz I had several morning appointment at school. Classes were good, but couldn't wait when it ended. Feel tired and stomach discomfort. I got to print some stuffs before went back home. Cooked for my dinner, but it was spicy, I couldn't eat that coz of my throat problem. Took shower and slept. Planning to wake up at 1am, but I swicthed off the alarm, and slept until morning.

Tuesday,
Woke up in the morning and called my parents. Miss my family already. Got some updated about how they are doing. I'll be home soon.....Calling my spiritual sister, somewhat like my mentor.....got lots of encouragement and burden for ministry in Indonesia. Lord, keep burning my heart with Your fire. I want to bring the fire back..........Api yang menyala lewat hati-hati dari sedikit orang, biar bisa merambah hati yang laen.......doaku buat pelayanan di Indo.

At 4:50pm....I had problem with my door key. I couldn't take the key off... It was so hard........finally I called the office, asked for a help. After a while, a guy came. It was hard for him to take the key off too........it wasn't just me, so it was the problem with the key hole.......the guy finally could take the key off and he put some oil on it. Thanks God.....I could go to school after that.

Stopped at Mc'D drivethru for apple pies....wah Is....sapa ni gara"nya....jadi ikutan demen lagi............dah lama juga. Someone introduced this apple pie before when we used to travel together on Friday noon....long and sweet memories will always stay.

Cooked seafood fetucinni alfredo, thanks to Steph for the recipe. It was a good dinner. I was studying for the exam after that...........

New song from God....

Sunday o Sunday,
Went for leader's meeting in the morning. Thanks for the transportation, N'dru. Ray, Robert, Steph, Vonny, and I went to walmart for some grocery shopping and Olive Garden for lunch. It was a real fun lunch with you guys. We were laughing, putting ideas for a special song, teasing each other (like usual but so fun). Our table was loud with laughter hehehhehe...... the food were good. We were so full, though we were sharing food.

Reaching home at 2:30pm, I decided to take a nap. My weekend was so busy, till I was lacked of sleep.......so gonna need some sleep before doing other tasks. Wake up at 6pm, then studied for a while. Suddenly, I felt like talking with dear Father, so I closed my book and had a time with Father. I got a new song, somehow Frisca's sharing was inspiring me. See....bros and sis....don't hesitate to share. Your sharing will always bless others, without you knowing that.

This is the song (in Indonesian):

Berkali ku t'lah mencoba
Bertahan dalam hidup ini
Berkali ku s'lalu jatuh
Hingga ku sadar
Ku takkan mampu berjalan tanpaMu

Dan kuberlari........
Ke dalam pelukanMu
Dan kurasakan damai dihati
Dan ku 'kan s'lalu.....
Berjalan bersamaMU
S'bab ku tahu Engkau yang pegang....

Busy Weekend

Hi diary,

Sorry for not blogging, somehow I just have so many things to do. Let's start with last weekend.

Friday,
I was doing homework with Ayako at noon until 3pm. Get ready to go to Lafayette with sweet ponchay at 4pm. We stopped at King Wok for having our first food for the day. Arrived at Lafayette, went for music practice. It was fun like usual. Thanks to all bros and sis for the support and help, specially for the prince charming. Thanks for the understanding. I guess I need to give more directions and tell what I feel.........must be bolder next time.

We had a secret meeting heuheuheue kok dibilang-bilang ya......eniwie, ya gi nyiapin something gitu. Thanks for all bros and sis who gave their times. It blessed my heart........ya tunggu tanggal mainnya deh ya.... ^o^

Saturday,
Went for intercessory meeting in the morning. It was hard and heavy for me cause I was waiting for God to tell me about today's service. Kerasa kayak sumbat yang terlepas gitu saat sisters pada mulai doain. Thanks to all of them, the prayer made me stronger, knowing that God does answer my prayer. Lord, once again, you never let me walk alone. Melangkah dengan iman bersama Tuhan.

Was surprised by Diani's call...........at that time, I have to admit that yes, I was a bit disssapointed, but I have to understand my hunny too. I can't be selfish... so I was trying to accept that with an understanding heart.

Went to Tin's house for "kolak pisang" nyam nyam, tengkiu tin. Some of us went to Great Wall for lunch. It was fun.......like usual....chatting, sharing, joking, teasing hahahhaha.... then Vonny, N'dru and I were doing our homework. Then, time for preparing myself for the service.

Sound Check went fine....pre-service was good too......It helped my heart to enter the gate of heaven. Met my dear Lord, before serving Him. What can I say about the service?? It was done very good by God's grace. There was a freedom, though not for all people. I guess people need to be trained on how to praise God with passion and expression. It was a good start. Thanks God for touching some people's heart to join with me........Once again, it was not me at all. It was God who gave me the strength, courage, and boldness. Thank you, Lord. I know you will work mightily when I obey and say "YES" to Your calling. Wanna see more, Lord, even when I'm in Indonesia soon ^o^

Ada yang ketinggalannnnnnnnn......ceritanya si hun-hun tiba" nongol abis pre-service kelar, apa ga kaget coba??? Cuman huepiiiiiii buangetttttt deh...surprised n' hmm..underscribable.....tengkiu banget di....bener" ke touch gitu... So blessed by the decision that you took by faith. I'm sure God saw and valued that step. Wah.....di....can't say anything now....just feel happy.....thanks for the support ya hun. Thanks for hunny, God!

Never stop working on me, dear Father.

At nite, I was accompanying Diani. We ate the miemie.....it was good. Then, we were doing our project again..........it was a fun time. Thanks all!

Thanks God for the beloved bros and sis...

Sunday morning,

I woke up with a positive sore throat =( I couldn't really talk....it was painful.

Robert: tengkiu for all bro......udah sering banget ngerepotin...hari ini dimintain tolong buat bawain obat lagi.......may God bless you even more. Pray that God will reveal His wonderful plan to your life. May you be a blessing wherever you are, bro!

Sigit: tengkiu buat setiap kebaikan" hati. Udah dicariin lagu, dimainin lagu, dikasih obat sekarang....I pray that God will raise you up as a real mature man of God. Be courage in taking what God had called you to do. Don't let fear or doubt prevent you for doing great things for God. All the best for your study, bro!

Rio: tengkiu ya dah nawarin buat nemenin service, buat sharing" n supportnya... buat obatnya juga. Terus dah setirin mobil ke PM tadi....I wish all the best in everything that you do. God is your provider and author of your life. Don't worry about your future, coz God is the one who hold it. Wanna see more of God in your life, bro!

Steph: tengkiu for every caring......dah sering ditemenin, di support, di doain, n skrg dimasakin lage..........pray that God will make you a true man of God. Be more mature and wiser in understanding God's plans in your life. I have faith that one day......you will be someone that you never imagine before. Someone who will be used mightily by God. Keep the good works, bro!

Dolly: tengkiu for the support, sharing and prayer. We'll keep praying for the healing. Get well soon, sis!

Lisa: tengkiu for the caring and also the medicine. Get well soon, sis! All the best for the research ya...God will make all things beautiful in His time.

Renny: tengkiu ya dah sering nanya"in gimana keadaaan saya....buat sharing", support, dll. All the best for your school works, sis!

N'dru: tengkiu dah bantuin sama excell and word problems. Sorry dah ngerepotin... eniwei, congratulation for the new responsibility. I know I will see more of God mighty works in your life, as you are committed to take the responsibility. Be a good, wise and mature leader.

Sandy: tengkiu for the caring and sharing. You've been a blessing for me and CaPLoG.... biar setiap kebaikan" hati yang udah ditabur, diganti kembali secara berkali lipat oleh Tuhan. All the best for your scool, San!

Daniel: tengkiu buat kopernya ya.....ama dah bantu"in gitu....

Selly: tengkiu for the caring, support, and sharing.........udah nawarin batagor lagi.....sayang banget tenggorokan saya tidak memungkinkan.

Hunny: thanks for everything deh ya......buat setiap keceriaan" maupun problems yang udah kita hadapin bersama. Hope God will strengthen our friendship so that we can bless each other more......wishing you all the best with your school life.

In the prayer meeting, we watched the sermon from the prayer conference, but in different topic. Feel like God spoke to me......emphasizing on what Samuel Duddy has prophesied last Summer 2003. Ini yang kamu mau ngomong, San? Tuhan, biar setiap rancangan" yang telah kau buat dengan sempurna digenapi dalam hidupku. Paksakan aku masuk dalam setiap rencana yang telah Kau Sediakan. Wanna see more and more...........

"You can use anything, Lord........but, You can use me"

Tadi siang n sore, tenggorokan sakit banget.......ampir nangis rasanya...cuman still want to have the joy of the Lord. I have faith that God will heal me soon. Ayo Tuhan cepetan gi........ga mau kalo sampe ga bisa menunaikan tugas negara sabtu besok......banyak banget yang mau diimpart......too sad to be passed. Pasti bisa sembuh cepet........bantuin doa ya bros and sis, tengkiu.

Abis mamam sore n minum Lohan Kuo and makan tablet hisap buat tenggorokan, I tried to take a nap......I was tired.........and my throat was so painful. Finally, I could fall asleep...........The weather is getting hotter and hotter.

I long to see the power of quick and powerful healing, Lord......I know You can and will do it.....

Special thanks for my brothers

Friday nite,
Arrive in Lafayette at about 11:30pm, then I went to Tin's place to cook baikut sayur asin for tomorrow lunch.

Saturday morning,
In the intercessory meeting, we watched the sermon from prayer conference held in Ohio on Last week of March. I got this:

Pressing on Toward the Goal
Philippians 3
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Thank you, Abba Father....for keep reminding me to focus on things You want to accomplish in my current life. Tuhan, makasi buat kasih aku strength, courage n ketetapan hati untuk melangkah bersama Engkau. Aku menyadari sepenuhnya bahwa Engkau yang pegang hidupku. Engkau mengetahu setiap rancangan yang baik untukku.

Thanks to Rio for accompanying me to Bob Rohrman, kirain dah lupa Io. Aku juga sungkan nanya....eniwei selagi diperkirakan saya bisa sendiri, saya bakal coba gitu....kata mama n papa, jadi anak kan harus mandiri begitu. Pas manasin mobil, cek hp, eh ada sms Rio, bilangin kalo dia gi mandi n tinggal dijemput ^o^ terharu ga si... I've scheduled an appointment for oil change service. I couldn't get the car wash...coz so many people wanted that.

Abis dari Bob Rohrman, jemput Diani yang udah ready dengan fried noodlenya. Wah, di boleh tu.......terus ke Asian Market bentar, perlu beli Lohan Kuo....wah wah.......sapa ni yang ngajarin, jadi kecanduan....cuman bagus si emang. Terus kita langsung ke rumah Tin" buat masak memasak. Lunch was so special.......after so long......I never enjoy a good meal during Saturday afternoon. We had rendang babi, baikut sayur asin, cah sayur, n maisamsu (nulisnya bener ga si??) Tin", Diani, n Mei" menggabungkan kekuatan untuk meramu bumbu maisamsu.....was so fun.....need to do again next time. We also had almond puding from Diani. Lunch mayan rame, bareng Lisa, Linda, Meggie, Rio, Steph, Tin", Diani and me. Sayang si N'dru kudu help session, terus si sigit sedang menunaikan tugas negara hehehhe.....wah N'dru batal saya menyaksikan keajaiban begitu.......jadi gimana perjuangan anda memakan sayurannya?? Na lo.......

Service was good.........people need to gain more passion in praising and worshiping God. Our fairy god mother preached about words...oh words... I think she can be a good teacher. CaPLoG family had the dinner with Luciu big fam (udah jadi Luciu ama Icu sekarang, bener ga ya??) It was fun...but since the morning I had problem with my throat......it was hurt...I drank Lohan Kuo and Lisa gave me vitamin C.

At nite, I had a good sharing with Louis and Diani. Be strong and courage, Is. God holds your future........believe in faith and be sensitive to what God wants. Don't look at the past anymore......look what is ahead of you...God wants to do greater things in your life. Be happy and cheer up, bro ^o^ Di rumah Hun", ada binatang (apa namanya di??? kalo di Indo kaki seribu cuman ini jenis beda ama Indo, warnanya coklat muda gitu kayak kayu (mirip ama karpet rumah diani lagi), terus gendut kesannya, mirip ulat bulu Indo deh......) Si Hun" musuh banget ama binatang" tersebut hahahhahaha.......harus lebih berani, hun.

I had a good time sharing with my weeken roomie. An impartation of life, a sharing from heart to heart....hope it will bless your heart as it bless my heart, sis! Can't really sleep......my brain keep working on the I-core project. Too worry I guess......but, finally.........my ship is ready to go......

About something special...

1 Corinthians 2: 9
However, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him”

Luke 1:37
"For nothing is impossible with God.”

Last Monday, I wrote that I reveived something I never imagined before. Actually my scholarship application has been approved. I'll be receiving the American United Life Scholarship at the Beta Gamma Sigma INitiation and Awards Breakfast to be held on April 29, 2005.

Although the fact says that it is impossible for international students to get a scholarship, but God proves to me, that with Him, everything is possible. Isn't that God's children always walks in the impossibility? I'm so grateful for this scholarship.....feel like my efforts are being appreciated and I can also make God and my parents proud of me. Putting a smile in God's and my parents' face has been a wish for me..... Thank you, Lord! You're just awesome....I'll never can be thankful enough for this blessing.

So, bros and sis......do your best in the academic performance, and God will do the rest. Believe in your faith, that whatever you sow, one day you'll reap.

Special thanks for Eddy Leno

Ed,

This post is created as my appreciation for your help. Kemaren kan blog aku bermasalah. Aku ga bisa access blogger gitu....udah gitu kehilangan story yang aku dah ketik dengan sepenuh hati. Tapi pagi, chat ama Eddy Leno dari Bloomington, terus dikenalin sama yang namanya Ad-Watch. Setelah mendengar penjelasan panjang dan lebar dari bapak Leno, saya memutuskan untuk mendownload softwarenya. Abis dl, wah wah ada 100 objects kudu diremoved. Aku ma ga ngerti begini"an gitu....ga paham......kemaren aja pas deal ama functions dari Microsoft Word yang belon aku kenal, kudu dibantuin ama si N'Dru.

Abis programnya dirun, terus programnya kan bersih" komputer aku, bisa deh akhirnya access ni blogger.....sampe bisa nulis blog lagi blog yang kehapus kemaren, ama ngepost lagu yang aku suka banget. Tapi....terus something wrong with my chatter box. I was sad.....soalnya kan ga bisa bales pesen", terutama dari my hun-hun (yang rajin menyapa yayangnya ^o^). Lalu, tak lama untuk bapak Leno online MSN lagi...jadi deh saya berkonsultasi. Setelah diberi beberapa solusi, aku coba gitu.......solusi pertama ga berhasil. Pas mau ngerecode, aku isenk refresh chatter box ku (nekat gitu ceritanya) ehh...bisa... seneng banget ga sih............jadi bisa menulis n membalas pesan n kesan lagi.

Special tengkiu aja buat Eddy Leno. Ed: kalo nganggur bole buka layanan pembersihan n pembetulan komputer hahahhaha....so ladies and gentleman, have problem with komputer, internet stuffs??? Just contact Eddy Leno in 1-800-LenoSmart..........layanan memuaskan lho....bakal dibantuin sampe semua beres, sip ga si??? Wah len, ga rugi punya Leno tuh hehehehe =P

Aku baru aja kelar jogging, tadi abis masak buat CG. Menu hari ini: Pineapple shrimp mayonaise, si stepo masak apa ya???? request saya diterima ga teph?
Tadi dah ditemenin Diani jogging lage seru ga si..........hahahha...di, kamu mau buka layanan juga??? Sama tadi lari, denger samar" lagu yang aku suka : "I will be here" soalnya si Diani gi ndengerin.

Okie dokie, mau mandi dulu ama beres" nich. Entar malem bakal meluncur ke Lafayette langsung. Ada janji ama sisters ^o^

Because He loves me so much....

About Thursday,

Yesterday nite, I've written down the story about Thursday, but It was error.. so the story disappeared =( I'll try to remember what I wrote...

Morning,
I wake up and thought it is Friday....I am planning to call my parents when I figured out that It is Thursday. I was chatting with Mimi. Thank you for entrusting me with your sharing. I'm blessed by that, Mi!

Afternoon,
I had a lunch at King Wok (finally) with Tin" and Meg". Something surpraised me....when we were about finishing our lunch, a woman came to our table and said, "I'm happy to see you girls prayed" Wow.......can you imagine?? Someone was blessed when you prayed. Father, thank you for reminding me that it is okay to pray in the public.............and even God can turn that as a blessing for others. Isn't that wonderful??? So sorry to Tin" for the VW shop.

Then, I made konyaku for some people that I promised to. Hopefully it will taste good. I was eating a mint candy before, and somehow I could really taste the konyaku.

I got a reply from Patricia, the director for international recruitment. Because of US privacy law, we can't obtain the list of the upcoming students. Eniwei, we worked things out and Patricia can introduce our organization to the new students and encourage them to contact us. Please help us in prayer. Special thanks to N'Dru for helping me with the organization description. Well done, Ndru ^o^

4:30pm,
Time for my body exercise. I decided to run.. Di: tengkiu udah nemenin lagi, jangan bocen" ya.... All this nice weather, secure and friendly environment... thanks God for those. I'm gonna miss those when I'm back in Indo. I wish Indonesia would be like this, the weather and the environment. A funny view, I was about start to run when I saw those guys who worked for the apartment were riding their mini vehicles. I don't know what they were doing, but the geese were scared with the vehicles.......they keep running and shouting hahahha...... geese oh geese........ don't be naughty ya....coz Diani is not here with me =p

I was chatting with some people before preparing myself for the concert tonite. Ci Yuli was online....Welcome home, ci!

Casting Crown, Chris Tomlin, and Steven Curtis Chapman Concert at Conseco,
The concert was great and like it. It was just awesome.....people were singing, worshiping together.... When I heard and saw their singing, it was wonderful. Praise and worship songs represent their love, gratitude, and passion for God. It just flows from their heart.... a love song for God. Lord, I want to like them. Thanks to brother Robert and Steph for being faithful in accompanying me and Shinta. We met some bros and sis from Lafayette and we joined them after the break. It is funny to know that we have 20 minutes break at the concert. Von: dun' be sad, we'll go together for a concert one day.

Something happened on the way back.........I was annoyed and a bit in emotion. Lord, thanks for loving me.....for teaching me....for molding me. I know that there are lots of bad characters that I should get rid of. Although it was painful and hard, but let me be as what You want me to be, Father. So that, "I can be a beautiful butterfly, when they see my beauty, they can see You there....." Because God loves me so much, that He wants me to be the best. A mature woman of God with good characters, who can put a smile in her Father's face.

"I feel that I'm stronger now....to let it go...to let it be.......just obey God. Lord, thank you for the strength and courage. I know I can pass this with You. Knowing that You will always there for me............."

"YOU WILL BE THERE, always.................................."

Really love this song...

Friday noon,

Aku suka banget lagunya Steven Curtis Chapman yang dia bikin n nyanyiin buat his beloved wife. For sure, I'll try to play this song on my special day in the future. Yesterday, when I heard his singing this song for his wife, I wished something to God. I wanted to have a life partner, who can plays guitar or piano and sing. On our special day, I wanted him to sing and play a special song for me. Isn't that beautiful and romantic??? That's my prayer to God. Thanks to C-git and Daniel for the song. Seneng banget deh.....

I Will Be Here

(by: Steven Curtis Chapman)

All about love album

Tomorrow morning if you wake up

and the sun does not appear

I will be here

If in the dark, we lose sight of love

Hold my hand, and have no fear

'Cause I will be here

I will be here

When you feel like being quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And I will be here

When the laughter turns to cryin'

Through the winning, losing and trying

We'll be together

I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up

And the future is unclear

I will be here

Just as sure as seasons were made for change

Our lifetimes were made for these years

So I will be here

I will be here

And you can cry on my shoulder

When the mirror tells us we're older

I will hold you

And I will be here

To watch you grow in beauty

And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made

To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up

And the sun does not appear

I will be here

Oh, I will be here

Teach me to understand Your way....

"Jalanku bukan jalan Tuhan, terkadang apa yang aku mau.....Tuhan ga kasih, mungkin belon waktunya.......mungkin bukan yang terbaik......apapun itu... cuman Tuhan yang tau, sebuah misteri ilahi. Tuhan, mampukan kaki terus melangkah. Melihat kedepan...menyadari bahwa Bapa tahu yang terbaik buat anakNya. Tuhan.....aku akui ini ga enak, ga gampang....tapi mei-mei pilih jalan dalam kehendak Tuhan. Bapa, aku tau Engkau yang pegang....dan Kau akan terus berjalan bersamaku. Beri aku kekuatan untuk melangkah dalam ketaatan. Keep my focus with You, dear Father."

Tuhan saat ini, mei-mei mau doain setiap temen-temen, brothers and sisters yang lagi dalam pergumulan, biar Tuhan sendiri yang kasih mereka kekuatan dan hikmat untuk bisa mengatasi semua hal dan keluar sebagai pemenang. Aku berdoa, biar sukacita, damai sejahtera, dan cinta kasih Allah selalu melimpah dihati mereka, Amen!

Bros and Sis, siapapun deh yang lagi menghadapi masalah berat, mood gi jelek... terus berdoa ya......minta kekuatan n gracenya Bapa. Tuhan itu Tuhan yang dekat. Dia cuman sejauh doa........don't be too focus on your own problems. Tuhan berdiri disana lho....membuka kedua tangaNya lebar-lebar. Kalo gi suntuk, gi sedih, ga tau mesti ngapain.......back to His arms deh. Don't lose the joy of the Lord ya.....sumber kekuatan kita lho.

Hari ini diskul hepi banget. Guru Jepang dah mau kasih course equivalent, tinggal guru Chinese yang susah banget dicari tuh. Group project tadi seru deh bisa ketawa ketiwi....terutama pas bareng" Ayako ama Selly. Ngedari survey, makan di McD sampe nunggu shuttle bus sambil haha hihi n nyanyi". Lama banget si busnya. Tapi dah lama ga naek bus, jadi inget" gitu.

Dalam segala hal, Tuhan mendatangkan kebaikan bagi kita yang mengasihi Dia. Walopun ini gi carless, cuman jadi lebih hepi. Bisa spend more time ma sisters, selly n vonny. Hepi ga si sis???? Sharing", saling menghibur, menguatkan....kangen deh.......jadi keinget jama ada RuehYinn n Jenny gitu. Pokoknya sisters in Christ are forever. Jangan lupa aja saling mengundang.

Von: have a safe trip to Ohio ya tomorrow. Wishing you all the best for the interview. Don't be anxious or afraid, for God is your strength, and He will always be with you. My prayers and support will be with you, dear.

Mi: tengkiu banget ya....for every sharing. It has blessed my heart. Thanks for the encouragement. Welcome new sister.......jadi ada tempat curhat baru. Seneng deh.....^o^

San: thanks for all deh ya.......

Makasi aja buat semua.......yang udah kasih mei-mei joy.....n specially buat someone yang selalu keep in contact everyday, my hun-hun. Hun: I'm coming lho, weeken dah mendekat.........konyaku anda disiapin deh. Harus berusaha kasih yang terbaik buat someone special ya 'kan, Di???

Good Bye Sister Yuli...

Tuesday, April 5, 2005

Hari ini ga ada kelas, soalnya kelas malem jadi bikin report dari rumah gitu. Pagi bangun, chat sama si Fiona. Dah lama ya ga chat ma kamu Fi. Kangen jadinya. One day I'll meet you deh. Eniwei thanks for the sharing. Abis gitu bikin tugas bentar terus keinget promosi dari BMG: Sound and Spirit, jadi beli deh cd" gitu. Seru juga acara milih", aku kan demennya lagu yang slow gitu. Cepet bole si asal ga ngerock aja kali. Sakit kepala gitu kalo denger music rock yang kekencengan.....rap juga ga suka... Slow and easy listening music yang bisa nidurin orang n nenangin hati itu yang asyik deh. Pokoknya yang bisa nguatin juga gitu....

Thanks to 4 brothers who picked me up to go to airport for sending Yuli. Special thanks to Hilo Lan", tengkiu banget ya San. Tadi nganter ci Yuli, hebat juga deh.....aku ga nangis tuh. Kerasanya peace and joyfull aja gitu, padahal pas february itu waktu hari terakhir ci Yuli kerja dah sedih banget. Thanks to God for more strength, sejak May 2004 sampe sekarang kayaknya diajar abis"an buat jadi tegar, jadinya ga terlalu gampang nangis. Perasaan ini kayak waktu aku anter my beloved bunda, Jenny. Makanya aku kalo ke Indianapolis Int'l airport kesannya gimana gitu....abis banyak ngelepas orang" yang berarti n aku sayang. Tadi ada beberapa orang yang nganter ci Yuli. Jadi ketemu ama Hana n Mimi.......seru juga gitu. Mi, testinya ga ada miiiiiiiii tuh kan mei" bilang ga pernah terima.

Abis dari airport pergi mamam ama beberapa, yang laen ada yang langsung pulang ke Lafayette. Sayang banget King Wok ama Saigon tutup, padahal sama kayak Vonny, aku mayan pengen mamam di King Wok. Wah... jadi inget pas valentine, dinner berdua di King Wok ma ci Ulie, terus pulangnya dikasih teddy bear ^o^ Ci, meskipun cici ga personally disini ama aku, cuman kenangan" indah yang udah kita buat bersama, bakal stay foreva inside my heart. Kapan buatin melody buat lagu mei" ci??? Wishing you a pleasant flight.

Akhirnya kita mamam di China Chef, moga" pada suka ya...menurut aku hari ini nasi gorengnya enak si, ato aku yang kelaparan?? Tadi mamam bareng Sandy, William, Rio, Steph, Mimi, Hana, Patty, Tin", Linda, Vonny. Seru banget deh ama sharing", ketawa ketiwi hehehhe....tadi pas turun dari mobil PongChay....aku jatuh gara" haknya sandal kecantol seat belt pas mau turun... Patty sampe ikut bingung, tengkiu dah berusaha meganging ya... aku dah berusaha biar imbang....eh tetep aja....jadi deh celana khakis ama tas putih saya ternoda hehehhehe jadi item" untung ga bekas ujan.....eniwei kakinya jadi ada yang lebam (gosong gitu), thanks God ga yang sampai gimana".

Abis mamam dianterin pulang ama Rio, Tin", Hana, n Mimi, soalnya si Sandy ada exam gitu. Sampai rumah pada mampir sebentar liat". Abis gitu, I feel that the weather is just so nice.....jangan ujan deh ya besok"....aku tadi lari keliling, ga sejauh pas minggu kemaren si. Si Steph ada kelas jadi ga bisa nemenin. Aku dah takut ama beksa, bebek" n angsa", makanya suka ngeri kalo lari sendirian. Kebayang dikejar" ama beksa si........Di: temenin donk ^o^ kalo ada kamu kan bisa shift attention si 'beksa'. Seneng banget ada semangat lari....demi kesehatan gitu...menjaga kebugaran tubuh biar fit. Sama entar Mei n July kan 2 sodara bakal nikah, bakal jadi pengapit juga hehehhehe Eniwei, kalo lari juga bikin papa mama seneng si, tau anaknya berolahraga gitu. Abis lari puter", aku sit up dirumah sambil buka kaca yang ke balcony, biar ada angin. Eh di, tengkiu ya dah nemenin aku lari, although lewat telpon doank. Mending daripada sendiri. Pas gi sit up, liat keluar eh pas sunset wah wah indah banget. Kebayang kalo gi berdiri di balcony ama ehem ehem hahahhaha romantis bener. Ama kamu juga ga papa di.....entar kesannya jadi tambah manis. Makanya kesini donk Di....

For someone: Be strong ya.... must be strong and we must let go.....cause all the sweet memories will always stay there. Distance would never set the friendship apart, specially if we build that in God. One day we'll meet each other. Kan katanya mau reuni juga...........ditunggu deh ^o^ Kalo butuh someone to share, you know deh.

Lucu juga ya.........dulu dipikir"in banget sampe sedih....ga pengen ci Yuli balik. Cuman akhirnya....hari ini datang juga. Eniwei, ini yang Tuhan mau n inilah isi hati cici. I wish all d'best for your new life Indo. Dun' worry, for God will always be with you. All of us here will always support you through prayer. Hopefully entar summer bisa ketemu..........dateng pas May 14, ya cik kalo bisa. Love you, sis! You've been a blessing for me and others.

Now, it's the time for doing my report. Talk to you later, diary!

Something that I never imagine before......

Yesterday I slept earlier due to my gastric problem. It was bad and awful feeling in my stomach. I woke up in the morning and prepared myself for school duties. I change my mind and went to school earlier with Selly. Tengkiu for the transportation help, sis! Really appreciate that........Kalo disuruh jalan dari Rumah ke Sekolah, lebih parah daripada dari WB ke Purdue kali ya.... =p

School was fine, I got all exams back. Although I hope to get better in some exams, but still praise Him for the good grade. After done with classes, I went with Selly to Best Buy. Selly got her needs at a cheap price, I'm happy for that, sis.

We were hungry, so we decided to have dinner at olive garden. It was romantic hehehhehe a time to share with Sista Selly, feel like it's been a while since our first year in our "home sweet home" RP. A sister will always be there for each other. I keep you in my prayer, sis!

When I reached home, I just received something very special. Something I never imagine before....something that I never think of....something that very rare to happen. I will share this in church on Saturday and then I'll write down here. Thank you, Lord! You are amazing....with You, everyday is just another miracle. I never can say enough thank for this, Lord! This is one of the best grace I ever had ^o^ Di: wait ya........penasaran ga???? Ada deh..... Ren: bisa juga kamu ngerjain.....hehehhe bisa buat dunia gempa lho entar.

The rest of the day...

Afternoon,

Thanks to someone for the sharing and discussion ^o^ Let's work together,bro! I know one day our prayers and efforts will be answered by God. Soon, God will raise another one.

Thanks to Steph for the companion this evening. I was excited and happy to do some exercise. It has been a while since I ran the last time. I was afraid with those geese and ducks. Di, you better come here faster....so their attention can be shifted to you, a sweety gal.....hehehehe gimana di?? setuju ga?? entar dicariin yang ganteng de ya, buat anterin pulang ke Lafayette huhuehuehue =p
Teph, I think they are afraid with you, not with me. We were running around the Eagle Creeek Court apartment. The weather was nice....just perfect ^o^

I was having conversation with my Father....was enjoying a time with lopely Daddy. Then Daddy put a new song in my mouth, and also the melody. Thanks Father ^o^ The lyrics:

Help me Lord to back to Your arms
Bring me on my knees so i can worship You
There's nothing I want beside You
Lord, I just want to be with You

Gonna find the melody and note it, but of course i need someone's help to find the exact melody. I just remembered that yesterday in the intercessory meeting, but I left my notes at the trunk and the car is in Lafayette. So probably later on when I meet my elle back, I can share the lyrics.

Lanjutkan karyaMu yang indah dalam hidupku, Bapa. Mei-Mei siap jadi alatMu. Can't wait to see more on God's mighty works.

Goose oh goose...........

My hun-hun asked me to write about this funny story:

What special about Eagle Creek Court is that you can enjoy the beautiful scenery of lakes together with the geese and ducks....I still remember when snow comes heavily.....the area was all white covered with ice and then the ducks and geese will parade.

Yang jengkelin hati sama bebek" and angsa" itu mereka demen banget buang kotoran dimana". Membuat ranjau yang bisa menyesatkan para pejalan" kaki. Terus kalo mereka lagi nyeberang jalan, kita" mesti stop nungguin mereka gitu. Tapi...........yang paling burukkkkkkkkkkkkkkk n nyebelin, angsa" kan demen nyosor.

Suatu sore (senin kemaren deh), aku baru aja balik dari skul n parkir mobil di garage depan rumah. Terus aku jalan nyantai ke building aku. Ga jauh dari aku tiba" ada satu angsa berlari ke aku sambil nurunin sosor (mulutnya yang panjang nan menusuk) n dengan tampang napsu banget ngejar aku........ serem bangettttttt....aku cepet" lari masuk building, eh tuh angsa tetep nungguin sambil ngeliat aku. Akhirnya aku buka pintu gedung dikit, aku omel"in tuh angsa.

Sejak saat itu mayan trauma si........Jumat kemaren pas mau ke GNC beliin titipan Yuli..eh didepan rumah ditungguin dua angsa gi duduk" santai. Masih kebayang dikejar angsa kemaren", aku takut donk. Aku tungguin didepan pintu, eh tuh angsa" malah jalan" santai disekitar sama makan rumput n salah satu buang kotoran lagi. Nyebelin ga si...mana salah satunya juga liat2 ke aku. Pas aku jalan setapak, salah satu angsa ikutan sambil ngeliat....serem ga si. Ga berani jalan aku. Akhirnya aku tungguin dalam pintu, cari amanya gitu deh. Sampai akhirnya tetangga gedung sebelah turun dari mobilnya mau masuk ke rumah. Eh beneran.........tuh angsa tiba" lari terus mau ngejar tuh orang. Untung orangnya dah masuk duluan........... pas angsa" itu sudah mengalihkan perhatian, aku baru berani jalan gitu sambil ngintip" make sure dia ga berbalik arah mengejar aku.

Btw, Angsa" ama bebek" tersebut memang menambah indah pemandangan kalo mereka gi berenang n kita liat dari jauh ato dari balcony ckckckck kalo pas langitnya okay (ga panas n ga dingin), bisa syaduuuuuuuuu banget ga si?? Cuman mereka" ini ga kenal waktu. Kadang bisa bernyanyi ato berteriak" disubuh hari gitu, ngebangungin orang.....rame banget lagi. Jadi keinget rumah lama di Rieverpointe.....ga ada pemandangan indah begini cuman ada sport centers (lapangan basket, lapangan tenis, lapangan lari, fitness center ama lapangan parkir) jadi pengen punya apartment yang nyedain fasilitas berolahraga lho. Kalo mo lari" didaerah kompleks apt, takut ni entar ditaksir ama angsa" n bebek......bisa berbahaya... huehuehuheue

Kata Diani, tuh angsa naksir kali........idih....takut banget ama mereka. Di: kapan" loe kesini lagi deh......sapa tau entar angsa" tersebut juga naksir berat ama kamu, jadi aku kan jadi aman sedikit gitoe.

Demikianlah dongeng si angsa, bebek and mei-mei, sampai jumpa dalam kisah" berikutnya. Moga" ga ada acara kejar"an atopun sosor"an lagi deh.

I did a stupid thing today.........

Morning....Morning...

I woke up at 6am coz of Vonny's alarm. I thought it was already the time for preparing ourselves. Vonny went to sleep again, so I followed her. I woke up in another 30 minutes, thought it was the time again. Until finally someone called me hehehhe.....right call to wake me up. Sorry ya....didn't mean that way.

Leader's meeting was held in Linda and Lisa's place. It was fun.... after that, I did a stupid mistake. I accidentally put my car key in the trunk and closed it. Holy sprit was speaking to my heart at the same time when I was about closing the trunk. My heart didn't feel comfortable, but I closed it...ups...oh no, I just realized that the key wasn't in my pocket or in Tin".....I wished it was just a dream, and I can open my eyes knowing that I was sleeping....but it was real. I was confused....considering that my spare key was at home in Indy.

Thanks for Sandy and Tin's helps. I was trying to call farm bureau insurance and lock out service.....finally I decided to follow Sandy's plan or find someone who will go to Indy. Tin" and Meg" said that ci Vera will go back to Colombus.. aha....so I asked her, and she didn't mind. San: thank you very much, sorry to bother you again this time.....CaPLoG's hilo ^0^ Last time Sandy also helped CaPLoG family with car's problem.

When Vonny and I were about going to Meg's apt, we saw pastur's car. I asked Vonny to check and it was right....I tried to call pastur, but no one answered. Finally, Vonny went to pastur's house. Thanks God that pastur was still there. We then decided to go with Pastur. Pastur and Ci Lydia were supposed to go to Bloomie this morning, but it was delayed.

Although doing a stupid thing was sad for me.....coz I need to leave my lopely elle there, but God shows His faithfullness. On friday evening, I was checking my car's letters and saw the spare key. I didn't think for bringing the spare key with me, but was that a coincident that I saw my spare key?? dunno..... then before I accidentally closed my trunk, God spoke to my heart......I wasn't alert and be obidience. Finally, Pastur was still at home.........Praise the Lord. Now, I need to be more careful. Help me there, Lord.

Still thinking now.......should I bring my car back on Tuesday or next weekend??

When God speaks....

Gut morning,

I joined the intercessor meeting. It was awesome....I can feel God's presence since the beginning. After hearing Yenny shared about her problem, God asked me to pray over her. It's been a while that God always asked me to pray over someone. Just be obidience....^o^

God was speaking clearly to all us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. I personally get that God is our shepherd. It is probably verses that we have heard many times. But yesterday, it seems that God put emphasize on that.

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.

" The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. "

Thank you, Lord for such a faithful God. A God who never leaves His children, who always walks with His children through the storms.

Went to music practice, I was excited for the tambourine practice. It's been a while since I danced last time. I always want to dance beautifully to express my love to God. Some people may think that when we dance, it is just the movement of our body, but actually when you really dance for God. There's a power, joy, and expression that you can give to God.

CaPLoG family had dinner at Joo-Joo together with Pastur and wife, also bakpao cik Yen =p It was fun.... after that CaPLoG went to Pastur's house to celebrate his b-day. Thanks for everyone who joined. I think making a puding for tart is not a bad idea, I told hun" that one day hopefully I can make one for her b-day.

Went to Renny's house to talk with her and Eileen about subleasing my apartement. Thanks God for them....I hope my apartment can be a blessing for you two. All the arrangement was done, I was happy with it.

Overcoming the fear with God

Friday at 10:00pm,

I went from Indianapolis at about 10pm. Somehow, I felt nervous and worry about the driving tonite. It's been a while since I drove alone the first time at nite. I prefered to go at nite rather than in the morning because I didn't know before what the highway driving would be.

Still in the apartment area, I pulled my car over because I found something wrong with my lights. They were darker.....and when I switched the other side, it was the headlight (we called that dim in Indo), not sure if it's the correct English name. I was worried and afraid at the same time. I went out and checked...it was true. The light was different than usual. Finally, I decide to call Vonny. She told me that I might turn the other light accidentally. Thanks God, I found the way to change that quickly. Thanks for the caring, Von.

I prayed to God for a safe trip and protection over the car and me. After about 15 minutes, the raining started and it got heavier and heavier....I was so afraid. I couldn't see the road sometimes. There were some big trucks also....It was scary....I kept praying, praising and worshiping God also speaking in tongue. I realized that there is only a thin line between life and death. When I couldn't see the road, every bad thing can happen...... but, I know for sure. He is a faithful God, He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will always be with me, even when no one is beside me.

Sorry dew, I couldn't talk to you when driving, specially in those bad condition. I really need to pay a close attention and be concentrate. Finally, I reached Lafayette safely. Thanks for protecting me, Father. With you, I can face the bad rain.

When God has already gave me hints....

Hi d-ary,

Thursday,
I woke up pretty late.....felt happy cause I'm done with my busy week for now. I went to school to arrange my summer plan. I need to meet with the two language teachers. May God guide me according to the best summer plan. I went to Lee market to buy some stuffs for CG cooking tomorrow. This evening was my konyaku jelly nite. I made some konyaku for some bros and sis in Lafayette, also grass jelly for CaPLoG family.

Friday,
Thanks God for waking me up. Friday morning is always the time for checking with my family hehehhee.....we always call each other. I used to call them on Friday since my first-second year being here. Went to GNC store to buy Yuli's request. A funny story happened when I was in Marsh. I bought oranges and paid my electricity bill there. The cashier asked me, "are you 18th?" I said no.. then he gave another guess, he said, "16?? hmm I said no, he asked again, "older or younger?" I said, "older", he took another guess, "19?? 20??" Finally, I told him that I just turned to 21st. He was surprised hehehhe ^o^ Americans usually guess that I'm 14th. It's just funny....

I prepared my stuffs to go to Lafayette tonite. I cooked with Selly at 5:45pm. William and Sunie were there to help. Now, I can make dumpling. Thank you guys! The cooking time was fun..... Selly cooked "bakmi ayam" I remembered those abang" that passed by my house to sell noodle. Feel like in Indo. Time flies so fast......in a month and couple days, I'll be in Indonesia. I can't wait for that time but for sure, I'll miss my Indianapolis and Lafayette family. They have been a part of my life ^o^ Gonna miss you all.......

Care Group was fun. Food was yummy, although hmmm sorry guys, I made salty balls =( didn't mean too.... We heard 1/2 part of a sermon from cassette, it was good. We then stopped that because Nat and his two friends came. We prepared them the food and then had fellowship together. After singing some songs, we closed in prayer.

Time to go to Lafayeteeeeeeeeeee...........................