As long as I say, "Yes, Lord!"

Last Saturday, I finnaly shared the word of God for the first time in LCB. I have prepared the material since on retreat. Actually before retreat, I got something when I read the Bible, but I have not gotten the completed explanation party. While I was on the retreat, Diani and God both reminded me about the topic that I finally shared, "Responding God's calling in our life."

Thanks for putting the burdern in my heart about what I need to talk, Father. I know when I said "Yes" to Your calling, You'll walk with me. I will never walk alone. Thanks for the annointing, courage, strength, and even the healing. Thanks also for my spiritual mentor back there in Indo. She helped me to put explanations for the topic.

Do you realize that the devil will try to do anything to stop you from doing what God has called you to do?

Yes, and it's very true. I said to Pastur that unless I could not get up from my bed, I will still share the Word of God. There were many struggle: actually I was not sure, I was not confidence, I was afraid, I thought there are lots of other people who better than me.... but again.... God seeks heart. God will use people who say "Yes", not the people who have the capability and briliant. But again, on Thanksgiving retreat, God confirmed things and He said, "My incapability has been taken, all my fears have been taken, when He died on the cross." He died, so that now, we are able to answer and work on His calling in our life. God has died, so that, I, the incapable and unworthy person, can do things beyond my ability with God.

But the devil will never stop.....he tries....and keep trying.....

On Saturday, I was attacked by "No confidence" virus. I felt that my message kind a not appropriate because most people have ministered and so on...... I felt that I should not deliver this message.....I prayed.....I reminded myself, "Don't focus on the result, see the process. Whatever people may think, as long as this is God's heart for His people." I have prayed before for the whole week, and told God, to give me another messages if He wants me to deliver other messages. But until Friday night, God did not put any other burder.

But I said, I will do it with You, Lord......... and God started to comform things. When Dolly asked me about this song, "You can use anything Lord, You can use me, Take my hands Lord, Take my feet, Touch my heart Lord, Speak to me, You can use anything Lord, You can use me!" I felt that God start comforming things..... then some of praise and worship songs.... and so on...until it was the time for me to share.

Thank you Lord, that You've walked me through. I finally shared.... Lord, I thank you that You chose me, that You gave the opportunity to bless others. Thanks for the strength, courage, and annointing.

Never realize that actually Sunday was the ministry meeting.....

Sunday morning and still on the futon, I got a message. Hm.....it was Andrew Lee, he said, "Dear sister, thank you for the word you shared in service yesterday. I have no doubt it has challenged many people to re-evaluate themselves. God bless you." Man....I could not say anything. My heart just praised the Lord.....

"Who knows more about what the conggregation neeeds rather than God, and He is alone??"

Lord, I gave you thanks that I can be obidience to deliver Your message.....

Thanks to Dolly, Helen, Diani, all bros and sis who have supported me in words and prayer. God bless you all ^.^

Going back to Indianapolis with Sunie and Vonny......Thanks ci Sun!

Sunday, 3pm-9pm, I was in the library all the time. I have two group meetings. I thank God for my W430 group. They are so supportive and we are corporating well to do the project. Thanks Chad, Brooke, and Lauren. A wonderful team that God has given to me!

My other team (M303)....... I was dissapointed....I felt that I was the only person who really struggle and put many efforts to get the best grade. I felt that others just wanted to get it done. They did not care about what we would get...... I'm sad for that......Almost crying in the library. All my team members left before 7:15pm. I was still in the library fixing things and did whatever I could.

On the way to home, my other teammate (different class) called me asking for executive summary and cover page. We finally worked together when I reached home at 10pm. I was hungry and definitely tired.....I wished I could sleep.... We finally done at 10:15pm and I prepared my dinner.

Then I checked Oncourse and looked at what my M303 team did on the powerpoint slides. Hmm...one put too many words in the slides......I didn't think it is right. The design was bad.... Though I had no strength left, I decided to redesign the powerpoint, found and put pictures and made sure that it looked good.

I was frustated........almost crying again.......felt so tired.......why I was the only one who really cares? Yes, I do care about the grade I will get. I will always try to give my best for my project. I just cannot to let it go.....let it done.....for whatever grade.......

Thanks hunny for keep supporting me..........even for your nickname......... ^.^ for the MSN transfer..... luv you hun.......

Suddenly my bro, Sigit, called me from MSN. He said, "Mei, just wanna say thank you for Your sharing yesterday. It really blessed my heart. I was afraid actually......and so on.....!"

Git, don't you know that your simple words have encouraged me so much. Praise the Lord! I felt like again and again.......God keep assuring me......As long as I say, "Yes Lord, I will do it with You." He works......He will work greatly.......

Don't be confused with "how if", "what if" just do it........just do whatever God called you to do. Do it with God....do it faithfully......and You will see..

"Every blessing You pour out Lord, turn back to praise!"

After that, I just felt that God returned my strength back....... I felt courage......also for my project. I had the strength to keep awake and do my powerpoint.

Lord, You are amazing, never changing, always with me, enthroned within my sould....

Then another problem, my powerpoint file was large......with slow internet connection ups.. it could not uploaded to Oncourse, but I had to.......one of my teammates has not inserted her part. I was trying to both transferring the file to Diani and uploading it through Oncourse.... both were failed.......I did try again....... The transfer started to work but it was slow..... Sorry Di!....
Suddenly.......after almost 50%.......it stopped.....it stated "error in transfer" oh no.... what should I do???? but you know what??? I checked my Oncourse and amazingly, IT WAS UPLOADED THERE........huhuhuhu......PRAISE THE LORD! YOU ARE AWESOME, GOD! YOU DO THINGS THAT I NEVER EXPECT.....

and then, in minutes count, ...my dial-up was disconnected........

ISN'T GOD SO GREAT? It was uploaded just a while before my dial-up was disconnected.....

AMAZING .... AMAZING ..... Yes Lord, You really are......

Finally I could stand awake until 2pm, though I was very very extremely tired, almost lost my voice again.

This morning presentation, I was not confidence, but we finally did it. And when I presented, everything just flew through, I had my voice to present.............

THANK YOU ABBA FATHER!

I have done the best I can and Lord, now it is Your turn to work..............

PRAISE THE LORD!

Have a blessed day everyone! God is with you, He is there watching you......

Wanna say thank you for someone for sending me the beautiful design with the song. I do appreciate that. Well done ^.^